Hi, I don't usually talk about this with other people because they usually don't get it, but I guess lately I've been feeling quite lonely, like I'm all alone in this. So here's my story.
When I was six my father beat me for the first time, I didn't hear him call me and so did not come immediately, he hit so hard I was thrown against the wall. After that these incidents repeated for about four years. All the while he humiliated, invalidated, and dehumanised me, my bother and mother. I was scared so I didn't tell anyone, not even my mother. This went on when I was ten the beatings stopped, but something else started, he stroked me in wierd places like my inner thighs, my stomach and breasts, and in the evenings he would force me to kiss him on the mouth because I was his daughter and I belong to him. When I was twelve, my mom and brother being on holiday, he called me into his room and sexualy assaulted me, forcing me to do things that still disgust me to this day. After that I fell into severe depression, developed anorexia and almost died of a heart attack because of it. It was two years before I told anyone, and when the police got involved they didn't take me seriously. I guess I was just another crazy girl to them. I felt invalidated and alone. So I gave up. But I am in recovery now, I have a service dog for PTSD and am trying to move on, but I can't. I'm sixteen and I will never be able to experience things like others do, I have scars, and heart problems, I go to therapy and have flashbacks everyday, and my dad is still free. I'm trying to get justice from Germany( all of the abuse happened in England, but after my parents divorce we moved to Germany) but it's hard and I feel like I'm doing this alone again. I don't even know if it makes sense to get justice, I don't know if I could do it.
Well sorry for the long post, I don't know if anyone will give a crap but at least I will have written it down.
I am so sorry you had to go through that. He had no reason to ever do that. I know I don't know you and I could never understand how much mental and psychical pain you went through, but I really wanted to let you know that I will always be here to support you. No matter what happens we have to be there for each other. If you ever need to vent to someone I will always be open to listen and help give some advice if I can.
I am so incredibly sorry that you were abused and assaulted by your father. I wish I could be there for you, because your pain is palpable in this post, and I desperately would like to comfort you. I can't make it better, but know that I'm thinking of you, and hoping that you get the justice you deserve. Are you in therapy? Are you in a support group? Do you have people in your life who can comfort you and keep you safe? I hope you're well and that you can heal.
You've brought me to tears with this. In no way did you deserve any of that nor do you now. What he did was so wrong and I with all of me that you get the justice you deserve.
This isn't exactly answer to your problem but I just want let you know that you have my support till the end. What your father did was wrong and he deserve to be locked up for those awful things he did to your family. I'm positive that there people somewhere that will help. Also you do not have to apologize for anything here and of course people will care about this horrible thing that happen to you because any decent human being with a ounce of empathy will want to help you. Lastly please remember to let me know if there anything I can do to help.