--TW: self harm--
so there is someone at my school, i know him but we are not super close. ive noticed that he wears long sleeves and pants even during quite hot weather. one day when he unrolled his sleeve there were linear bruises all across it, and during class ive seen him unconsciously hit his hand/forearm area (with these laminated id cards that are mandatory to have at all times at our school). ive also seen him do a similar thing with the tip of a pencil. im sure this is not the worst of it, we've talked breifly and it sounds like his mental health isn't exactly great at the moment. i think he might be seeing the school counselor, but i dont know what to do and i dont want to just ignore it. im sincerely worried for his safety. how can i help him?
Honestly there is no easy answer. My best suggestion is to just be a friend to him, try to help him through the rough time. (Check in on him at more random times just because you care, it helps a lot). Also, school counselors are required (by law, at least in Illinois) to tell someone's parents (or other guardian depending on the situation) if someone mentions being suicidal or being abused. If you really think it's needed, you can always tell an adult (just please, make it an adult who you trust to be kind and a good friend). This really depends on his situation, sometimes adults knowing (which almost always leads to parents knowing) can make it a lot worse. I know that it's really really hard to know someone in that place (I have lots of friends there), but just know that whatever happens, it's not your fault (even if you do what you think is best and it doesn't work, it's not your fault, you can only try, so please don't blame yourself regardless of what happens [I'm only saying this because with this issue, there tends to be a lot of self blame if they didn't "save" them]) Overall, talk to him, get to know him, be a friend, and then go from there. You can even tell him you are worried and want to help (I'd just get to know him a little first and make it clear that it's not sympathy, you actually want to be friends) If you don't really want to be friends, my best advice is to tell an adult who you feel you could go to, if you were in that situation. Also, breathe. You aren't responsible for anything, all of this is going above and beyond, if you really need someone to talk to, my discord is OliATheWhale#5856. That goes for anyone who might be in their spot or his, I'm here for you 🖤
You can’t help someone else until you are okay with yourself. The act of self-harm is so painful and frightening for the person who does it, that they will not be able to stop until they feel safe. You cannot help anyone unless you are willing to take a look at your own life, and see what needs to change. The first step towards helping a person who self-harms is helping them feel safe. This means https://bbs.bunglefever.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=54483 them know that no matter what they do, you love them unconditionally and will always be there for them.
It’s important that you don’t think of yourself as a bad person because you want to help someone who self harms – it’s only natural that this will happen. You might feel angry or frustrated when talking about it, but try not to judge yourself too much and think about how much you would have done if you were in their position. You might feel here that there is nothing you can do to help someone who self harms, but there are many things that can be done to support them and help them get better.