I just started dating my guy best friend. We have good times. But there has been this issue where when I like someone, and if I find out they like me back, I lose feelings. That didn't happen this time. Now I have feelings for him still and when I'm with him, but they fluctuate. One minute I will have romantic feelings for him, the next minute I won't. And I flip between these maybe 10 times a day, maybe less. As someone who used to be anxious, this makes me anxious and ask myself, am I tricking myself into liking him? Are we compatible (for the most part yes we are)? Is this stemming from a disorder I might have (currently being tested for ADHD and I have unstable emotions)? What if I'm not actually pan and I don't like guys, or can't feel real love? What if I'm lying to myself cause just cause I wanted a boyfriend? My emotions typically do things like this anyways, but never to this degree and never romantically until now. Sorry that was super long, but idk what to do about how I feel or if this is normal. I'm waiting so that maybe if we get some more 1 on 1 time together that my feelings will start to even out, but the switch between no feelings & anxious and romantic feelings & calm is kinda unbearable. I am also pretty good at subconsciously self sabotaging, perhaps its seeping into my relationship too?
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Edited:Â Dec 16, 2020
Is it normal that my romantic feelings fluctuate?
Is it normal that my romantic feelings fluctuate?
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You kind of sound like you may be Aro-Flux. It when your romantic attraction changes over time between Aromantic (no romantic attraction) to Allomantic (having romantic attraction) over time. It perfectly normal there is really nothing wrong with you. And people who are Aromantic or Aro-Flux and aren't Ace aren't emotionless voids. They feel emotion just as strongly as we all do but, they aren't really end to romantic relationship, they tend to enjoy platonic relationships that may or may not have a sexual component. I hope this is helpful.