Hi, I don't usually talk about this with other people because they usually don't get it, but I guess lately I've been feeling quite lonely, like I'm all alone in this. So here's my story.
When I was six my father beat me for the first time, I didn't hear him call me and so did not come immediately, he hit so hard I was thrown against the wall. After that these incidents repeated for about four years. All the while he humiliated, invalidated, and dehumanised me, my bother and mother. I was scared so I didn't tell anyone, not even my mother. This went on when I was ten the beatings stopped, but something else started, he stroked me in wierd places like my inner thighs, my stomach and breasts, and in the evenings he would force me to kiss him on the mouth because I was his daughter and I belong to him. When I was twelve, my mom and brother being on holiday, he called me into his room and sexualy assaulted me, forcing me to do things that still disgust me to this day. After that I fell into severe depression, developed anorexia and almost died of a heart attack because of it. It was two years before I told anyone, and when the police got involved they didn't take me seriously. I guess I was just another crazy girl to them. I felt invalidated and alone. So I gave up. But I am in recovery now, I have a service dog for PTSD and am trying to move on, but I can't. I'm sixteen and I will never be able to experience things like others do, I have scars, and heart problems, I go to therapy and have flashbacks everyday, and my dad is still free. I'm trying to get justice from Germany( all of the abuse happened in England, but after my parents divorce we moved to Germany) but it's hard and I feel like I'm doing this alone again. I don't even know if it makes sense to get justice, I don't know if I could do it.
Well sorry for the long post, I don't know if anyone will give a crap but at least I will have written it down.
I am so sorry you had to go through that. He had no reason to ever do that. I know I don't know you and I could never understand how much mental and psychical pain you went through, but I really wanted to let you know that I will always be here to support you. No matter what happens we have to be there for each other. If you ever need to vent to someone I will always be open to listen and help give some advice if I can.