I’ve recently been questioning my gender and been getting a bit of dysphoria. I only get it sometimes and I’m not sure is it is dysphoria because I basically feel like I want to get rid of my boobs despite them being small and I wont want people to assume that I’m a girl but my mum told me once that she didn’t want to have boobs when she was younger and it went away eventually It’s like I have two minds and one is telling me I’m gender fluid and the other one is telling me that it’s normal and I’m just making it up because I’m hearing more about it. I also don’t think I could ever come out as gender fluid or anything like that. I want to tell one of my best friends because we talk about that sort of thing and she‘s bisexual and I want to talk to someone about it but I really don’t want to tell her even though I know she’d be okay with it. I also would like to change my name but I’ve already changed my name once and I don’t want to make everyone change my name again. I think I’ve figured out that I’m dealing with a lot of internalised transphobia but I’m not sure how to override it. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone experienced something similar?
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What is my gender and how can I deal with the fact I might not be cis gender?
What is my gender and how can I deal with the fact I might not be cis gender?
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I think I understand where you're coming from and I'd love to help. First of all, I wanted to let you know that you and your identities are valid. It is okay to feel change in your identity. Most people feel change and have changed their identities very often. It is always important to explore yourself and your emotions. Do what makes you feel like your best self, but make sure you are safe first. If you feel like you will not be accepted and not able to stay safe, please don't come out. I understand it can be hard, but you need weigh the pros and cons of the situation and figure out what will be best for you. If you want to change your name, do it! It is okay to change it and if people tell you otherwise, they are not really your supporter. Your personality and your identities should not stop someone from being your friend; If it does, it is not your fault! The most important thing to do is be yourself. People around you come and go, but you stay there your whole life. I do agree with you that you might be experiencing internalized transphobia. I don't know much of what you can do for that specifically, but it is very similar to self esteem issues, so I'm going to give you advice on that. Some of these strategies might not work for you, but it is good to try. A good thing to remember is that people can't love you until you love yourself. What I mean by this is that you won't be able to see the love people are giving you until you are able to love yourself. Ultimately, your love is what matters. If you do not love yourself, it blinds you from all of the love that is around you. It may also help to say some affirmations every morning. Things you can say for things like this is, "I get to choose who I am, and today I choose to be ______." These affirmations can change day to day, but you should use what ever saying applies to you at that time. I love you and I wish you the best!