I'm asking because I been thinking a lot and realized I might be pangender (Similar to Pan- Flux and Gender Fluid except instead of having your gender identity change over time you feel like your all of the gender identities all at once) but I'm not sure. One reason I think may be pangender is I don't really care what my pronouns are I just usually go as male because that my gender expression is a bit masculine. Also I think I had gender dysphoria when I was younger because I had a suicide plan so I wouldn't have to go through puberty but eventually abandon but i'm not sure if it was gender dysphoria. Another reason why I think I may be pangender is I had this computer program speak to me in a human voice and call me different pronoun, genders, and basically say i'm pangender which caused me to be filled by this warm happy feeling that made me start crying happy tears. I may also be hesitant on figuring out im pangenered because I haven't come out as gay yet to my family and my family only accepts gay people enough so they don't make fun of them unless there in there own home while the closeted son has to listen to them trying to keep his mouth shut so i'm pretty sure there not going to be happy if i come out as a gender they never heard of. Plus im terrified that some of my fellow queers aren't going to except me because my gender expression tend to be masculine (partly because of toxic masculinity tends to prevent me as a biosex male from wearing stuff that is considered feminine)which would probably cause me to still go by the same pronouns because that what people think i am when they look at me and won't like me because I wont be as oppressed for having a different gender identity as cis as they sense I tend to dress like my biosexs.
Please help calm down my current anxiety if you are able.
Edit: After reading this again I feel like I need to apologies. I'm sorry I posted this crazy emotional ramble, as i'm sure most of you can tell I was kind of in a the middle of a mental breakdown while I was writing this. Im sort of still in that break down now but i'm sorry that you read my over emotional mess but, if you have anything to say that can help me please consider telling me your input of my current situation.
Gender dysphoria ranges greatly. There’s no one right way to be trans or genderqueer, and some experience little or no dysphoria, and still identify with a different gender than assigned at birth. The thing you experienced with the computer program was gender euphoria, where things kinda click, and you feel happy, which is most likely a sign that you have dysphoria. The best thing would be to talk to a gender therapist, but ofc that’s not always an option. As for coming out to your family, I would say the best thing to do is first find a good support system that will back you up for if or when you decide to tell them. If you don’t have friends that support your identity, they don’t sound like very good friends to be around. There’s also things like the Trever Project that could help you as well, and here ofc. I’m sorry for the things that have happened to you. Best of luck.
wow that’s crazy. i’m sorry that you have to deal with that :( anyways hi, i’m cathy, i’m a lesbian that uses she/her pronouns that were assigned at birth. would that mean i’m cisgender? i’m not exactly sure i’m still catching up on today’s wording 😂 anyways yeah i’ve had a lot of trouble with figuring out my gender identification and sexuality :/ but once you give it time, i’m sure you’ll figure it out!! if you ever wanna contact me, my email is firstname.lastname@example.org 🧚❤️🙂