i came out to my mum a while ago as nonbinary. i told her - very explicitly, might i add - my preferred name and that i would like to be referred with he/they pronouns (i know my display name says xey/xem - i was just too anxious to explain neopronouns to her. he/they is fine though, i just prefer xey/xem). so i have a few phone calls with her because i live at my dads and i notice that shes constantly deadnaming and misgendering me.
at first i thought that she was just making sure i wasnt accidently outed to my dad so i didnt say anything. however ive been staying with her for the past couple weeks and she hasnt used my real name and pronouns once, constantly deadnames me, calls me "girl" and "daughter" and stuff like that and its really taking a toll on me. i thought that she would be really supportive since she seemed really accepting and early last year said that its okay if im trans.
its not like shes forgotten either - she wanted to put something that said "this girl loves adventure" in my room but said "oh wait thats a bit gender specific i guess" and i was like ???? WHAT???
also note that she did the same thing when i came out as a trans man when i was 11, and she's part of the reason why i repressed being trans for 4 years and convinced myself i was just a lesbian because thats more "normal" to society i guess. also the other day she asked my sister what the agab of one of my sister's agender friends was which is um. bad.
i dont know what to do. my family is,,, toxic, to say the least and i dont want to start any more drama. my mum has always denied that im mentally ill and neurodivergent which is why ive never been to therapy despite barely being able to fucntion on a day-to-day basis and it feels like shes doing the same thing with me being trans. it really hurts and i want to just break down and cry. im moving in with her next year and i want to use my correct name and pronouns at sixth form but im scared that my mum is gonna out me. i thought she would be supportive but she isnt and i hate it so much i feel like im just never going to be accepted. i hate it i wish i just stayed repressing everything.
sorry that got a bit vent-y but im finding it hard to keep myself together. can anyone just give me advice or some general positivity because i really need it right now