I really need to come out but I'm terrified of getting kick out or disowned.

I'm non-binary, ace and pan and I came out as bi (my family literally just think it's straight, gay or bi so it was bi or stay in the closet with my crippling depression until I could move out) to my parents about two years ago (I was scared shitless while doing it as they both voted against same sex marriage), they were kind of okay with it (though they did ask if it was a phase). I just scared of coming out properly because they aren't supportive of trans people (they misgender my friend's brother who is fully transitioned and are openly against transitioning).

I was going to finally come out to extended family this year on my birthday but covid happened so that's off.

I'm actually terrified of getting kicked out or disowned. They only family members that I think would be supportive are my aunt the lives in Canada and my sister who's 14 so I couldn't go anywhere if I got kicked out.

Sorry this has been a bit of a rant but if anyone has advice about what I should do I'd really appreciate it. :)

1 answer5 replies

6 Comments

Liam F

Nov 12, 2020

Hi, one piece of advice that I have for coming out is to have a back up plan, whether it be move to Canada, just so that you know that you are supported and safe, and/or ask friends that accept and love you if you could stay with them for a while, while you try to find someplace to stay permanently. There are also great communities out there that can help so I would always recommend doing your research on those. Just remember the people that you matter to will always support you and you are loved💛🤍💜🖤

rowan_christie

Nov 16, 2020

Replying to

Thank you so much for responding! I really appreciate people being supportive :).

(I turned 15 two months ago for context) After looking into it further, where I live you can't move out with parental consent until you turn 16. So I'm going to have to wait another 10 months :/.

Unknown member

Nov 17, 2020

Replying to

@rowan_christie This is not exactly a answer but it a suggestion. It kind of a suggestion on how to come out to your family. Remember here's still a chance they will accept you. So my suggestion is you write a letter or a texts for them to read when your not going to be around. It can give them more time to think about it one there own and come the the more logical conclusion of accepting you. In this letter or text I suggest explaining what it means to be nonbinary, pans,and ace and why these label fit you better and feel more comfortable about yourself. Also maybe get them to watch shows with characters with similar labels to you so you so you can see if they have a negative direction and if they do most queerphobia starts because they haven't seen people like that so showing them stuff like that will help them get used to that. Also one more thing what are your pronouns sense there are multiple different pronoun for nonbinary people can use like they/them or xee/xir( that not the only spelling of the last one.).

rowan_christie

Nov 18, 2020

Replying to

I know for sure that my parents are against transitioning and same-sex marriage so if I came out it wouldn't improve my situation much. I'm going to wait until I can leave home safely to come out. I go by they/them pronouns around some LGBTQ+ friends.