Hi, I'm an AFAB middle schooler who currently is out as transmasculine non-binary to like one person. To myself im thinking I'm probably more of a trans guy. However, i cant stop self-doubting because every time I hear about someone realising they're trans they're either a younger kid or like an adult. It also feels like I dont have bad enough dysphoria; usually the worst it gets is just feeling very uncomfortable in dresses and girly clothes and also using my birth name (which is the same as a famous luxury brand and is super feminine) but i never feel like crying or anything I just feel really sad about my body. Anyway, sorry for ranting, have a nice day/night! :)
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i'm questioning, what now?
i'm questioning, what now?
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thanks, this really helped. :)
hello! 10 days late, but that's usually how it goes here. here's the thing: gender is so much more of a spectrum than you think. more than I think. more than pretty much anyone thinks. and that doesn't just involve one sliding scale of boy to girl; there are so many other factors, from expression, to pronouns, to dysmorphia, there is no wrong way to be genderqueer/trans. for instance, i identify as not exactly cis (i am AFAB, too), but i don't really care enough to come out again as trans; i use she/her pronouns primarily because i'm too lazy to tell people otherwise, i've always dressed very tomboy ish, and the closest thing to dysmorphia i've experienced is around not liking to be n@ked/look at my body/go braless (that might also be a sensory thing though...). That is my experience. On the other hand, my best friend is currently in the process of getting hormones to transition somewhat ftm; they wear a binder, struggle with heavy dysmorphia, fluctuate between pronouns, but even he does not fully identify with one label, and other friends of mine fall all across this spectrum. my point in this is that there are so many beautiful ways to be, and you don't have to meet a certain pain or suffering threshold to be a trans person. also, on the age note, i know it is very different, but i did not even begin to question my gender and sexuality until my freshman year of high school, and i wasn't even sheltered. some people just develop differently. ALSO, YOU DO NOT OWE ANYONE DYSMORPHIA. not any cis person, not any trans person, not anyone. i know so many trans people who have chosen not to transition or to just change what makes them happy and leave everything else. not all trans people experience dysmorphia. identify with whatever makes you feel best, and that can change! my favorite thing to tell people and the thing that helped me the most with my identity is the idea that labels are banners to carry. they can give you strength and will, but they do not define you. you can change them out when you want, or try different ones to see which makes you happiest. let me know if you need anything, or if you ever want to chat (for real; it helps feed my raging god complex :D /hj)