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    luckyducky
    Dec 24, 2020
    Edited: Dec 24, 2020

    How do I handle this?

    in LGBT Advice & Milestones

    So, I told my enby (non binary) friend that I was questioning my gender and felt like I should have been born male (I don't know if this is the correct terminology or not, sorry) a couple of months ago. And everything was fine, we talked, whatever. Then, they had to go to a mental hospital because of their cutting and suicidal tendencies. They had been trying to get into the place for a while, so I was happy they finally got it. So a few months go by, and we have to go to a church event (we are both atheists, so it's annoying). I guess they forgot what I told them because when I joked about dressing like a straight, white male (I was wearing a hoodie with a flannel over it, just to put it into perspective), they said, "You do! But it works on women." And, I don't know, that really hurt me. I trusted them with my deepest secret, and they just forgot about it. I know that they had other, more important things to focus on and remember, but it still hurts. It's like, I support them 110%, but they can't even make the effort to remember something that was really important to me. So, should I talk to them about it, remind them about me questioning, or just not say anything at all? Btw, I would prefer it if you say not to do anything because of my anxiety, but pls just give advice regardless of that. Also, if I need to clarify anything at all I'll be happy to do so. Thanks!

    6 answers0 replies
    6 Comments
    E
    equalitea
    Dec 24, 2020

    The best thing to do would be to talk to them about it, and tell them how it made you feel, and maybe you two could work it out. Much love❤️

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    L
    luckyducky
    Dec 24, 2020
    Replying to

    Thanks!

    Like

    L
    luckyducky
    Dec 24, 2020

    Maybe, but they also could have just said nothing at all to avoid gendering me

    2
    N
    NoName(All Pronouns)
    Dec 24, 2020
    Replying to

    Then I jut suggest talking to them. I don't think you should confront them, just have a conversation to see why they did that before you jump to assumptions that may or may not be true.

    Like

    L
    luckyducky
    Dec 24, 2020
    Replying to

    @NoName(All Pronouns) ok, yeah, I think I meant to put talk to them about it or something, don't know why i didn't, but thanks I appreciate your advice!

    Like

    N
    NoName(All Pronouns)
    Dec 24, 2020

    I have a question. Is it possible that your friend said the women thing because you were in a public environment and they didn't want to out you or you were currently in a environment were people wouldn't accept your identity? If so maybe that explains why they didn't mention you questioning.

    2
    6 comments
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