Lately there has been much going on in both my and her life. She has a crush on a boy (3 years older) and found out that he´s the older brother of the boy she recently started meeting. The younger one is her age and has a crush on her (she doesn´t), she´s confused and doesn´t know what to do so she often comes to me for advice or just talks. I can´t help her much apart from listening because I don´t have any experience with this kind of love. I thought somehow it´ll all turn out right but today she wrote me messages like "I don´t wanna live anymore." "All I do is hurt people." "I´m tired." I knew that she struggled with thoughts like these for a long time but I thought she was getting better. I also suspect that she has anxiety but nothing is diagnosed. She is a huge overthinker and constantly feels bad for hurting others even in the slightest. And now I feel bad for telling her about my struggles (e.g. when my mind gets too loud and I hear this bad voice telling me others don´t care about me because noone noticed my disordered behaviour around food -> I´m scared that she blames herself for not noticing) because she already has enough to deal with her own but I don´t have someone else to go to. It´s all a little bit complicated at the moment and I´d love to hear any advices on how to help her through this depressive episode and support her in the best way possible! :)
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Just be there. Hug her. Love her. Its okay you don’t know. Just show her you care. Take things one day at a time. If she’s has anxiety like you suspect, then its best to do things small, because it might be overwhelming for her. Also, encourage her to talk to a professional. They are trained exactly for these tough situations. And make sure to take care of yourself too. I know you want her happy, but dont pressure yourself too much. Remember you’re only human. These things are not you’re fault. It’s no one‘s fault. These things happen, as horrible as they are. The most important thing isn’t how it started but’s how to move forward.
My advice to tell her is to follow her heart and trust herself, and also that she doesn't have to bear the weight of the world on her shoulders, it's ok for her to be selfish sometimes and do things for herself. And my advice for you is to continue talking to her when you think she can handle it but if she seems to be too unstable for it then just come here with your problems or if you just need someone to boost you up. I know that I'd love to help you if you needed it and I'm sure there are also others here who would as well. I hope that helped even a bit. But always remember you are loved, valid, and that me and your community are always here to support, validate, and love you! <3